dog Posts

My Dog is Retarded

retarded dog

To put it simply, my dog is retarded. Tiki is not mentally challenged, not disabled- just plain retarded. I love her more than life, and I thank God that she is a dog and not a human, because her “quirks” would make for a very difficult life.

Apparently, there is a legitimate IQ test for dogs that you can conduct using their scientifically proven experiments. I know for a fact that Tiki would fail every single one of them, so I’m not going to embarrass her. She probably wouldn’t even know she was doing everything wrong. Hence, the retardation.

Tiki has a few aliases, including Teekers, Tiki Monster, Tiki Friend, Tard (short for retard), Nugget, and Little One. She may also think her name is “Stop it” or “If you don’t stop licking I swear to…” since those are also commonly said in her presence.

Let’s start with a few positives: She’s very sweet. Since she’s super tiny (and weighs less than my cat, who is also a potential murderer, but more on that later) she is the perfect cuddle buddy.